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Tuesday, September 19, 2006
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Dear loyal fans, stalker freshman, and dearest family:
Greetings from the long lost city of Lynchburg, home of the T-Room and . . . yeah that's pretty much it. Standing in Jeremy's stead tonight, I, Allie Murray, have decided to update you on the many excitements of his life.
(Pretend the following is from Jeremy, and it'll make a lot more sense.)
I looked hott today. That's right, hott with a double-t. You just can't do any better than my dashing good looks, amazing clothes, and sexy hair. My girlfriend pretty much fell over backwards, but I caught her, because I am her knight in stripey-orange. (I also liked her semi-hippy/thrift-store/multicultural ensemble that she wore.)
After meeting my lady, I whisked her away to the land of chickens, wherest we used our fancy coupons and had a breakfast of burritos, buscuits, and milkshakes. And I enjoyed a cupcake that she brought me the night before (made from scratch, including the frosting.)
After our brief but beautiful encounter, I retreated to the cave of smelly computer nerds, and my girlfriend didn't need to worry about competition over her hott man from them. All day I slayed dragon-viruses, fixed server-demons, and lived my last Tuesday working at the Computer Exchange to the fullest.
After my day of battle, I went to church and talked with my pastor for a while. I could tell he thought I looked nice, but he didn't say anything except for "Arrr, arrr, arrr" like Tim the Toolman Taylor, because he is a man. And that is what men do. Arrr arrr arrr.
Finally, I returned to my castle, riding upon my vallient steed of a whale, Moby Dick. Shortly hereafter I will be going to bed, no doubt dreaming about the dragons I will slay tomorrow, the freshman I will tackle, the computers I'll spit on, the chicken nuggets I'll eat, the church I will go to, the people I'll confuse, the alarm I'll turn off at 8:20, and the floor I WILL VACCUUM BECAUSE IT'S GROSS!
Thanks for tuning in! Farewell.
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posted by Jeremy Dillinger @ 11:21 PM
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